Why I Left Teaching (And Returned)

A lesson on being honest with & accepting your journey.

HONEST MOMENT: I left teaching right before the pandemic hit and oooooweee was that a challenge.

I remember being so ashamed of having left teaching that very very few people knew. I mean, I had (and was) celebrated, shared so much about it on FB, was so determined of looking like I was continuing to inspire and motivate young minds..

But then I had just finished my third year teaching, my first in Harlem, and I was sad, broken, disenfranchised, and deep deep down — afraid. The realities of teaching in NYC public schools really hit home that year, I was faced with students who had been abandoned & neglected, students who had been to jail, students who were having babies, students who were about to age out of high school and NEEDED to pass THIS YEAR, students who lived in shelters & transitional housing.

I had a kid tell me if I don’t stop calling his mom and telling her he’s been coming into class late, that he’ll “flip this classroom and come in here and flip you too” 

I had a student yelling and cussing in my face explaining to a nearby adult (a dean) that he’s trying to get into the (my) classroom but “this f#$ing idiot won’t get out the way”

I’ve seen students run out the classroom after hearing commotion to go FIGHT and jumped some other child in the hallway. 

I’ve seen ELEVEN teachers leave after THREE MONTHS of school.

I’ve seen a group of 11th grade students have three different ELA teachers in one year.

It was TOUGH. My heart was broken and I felt very disenfranchised by this system, almost complicit in its demise of black public school children. So I left.

After trying to go at it alone, I was stuck and confused because I was trying to run away from teaching since it hurt so much, YET I was still being called to teach. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. I knew this is what God was calling me to do, but I had to trust him to guide me to do it. I had to trust that with time, patience, commitment, and discipline, I could use the time during the pandemic productively to get back into teaching. To get officially licensed. So I finally stopped running, and faced what scared me so much.

I reached out for help, over and over and over again — sometimes with tears, always with immense gratitude. 

And my tribes were there, my communities were there, my sisters were there, my sorors were there… 

And By God, I made it. 

In the midst of a pandemic. After starting 2020 with 49 CENTS in my bank account. After being depressed, lost, and stuck… I was lifted out of the fog. 

I’m immensely grateful for my opportunity to teach. I do not take for granted this space, and I am so excited to be back in it to spread a little joy there too. I am grateful for the chance to teach, especially in Brooklyn, especially in public schools, especially to kids like me. 

So embrace your journey. Honor ever part of it. Celebrate who you were and what you went through to be who you are today. And you’ve made it through 100% of all your tough days. You are here for a reason. 

Keep going

.ss